As I've mentioned before, because most of my patients don't speak English, we have interpreters who take their complaints and then write them down in the patients' notes before they are seen by a doctor. I have seen some pretty funny complaints:
"The patient fell and the finger knows it's painful". Does he?!
"Virginal itching" (spelt eaching). If it's itching down there it's probably not virginal.
"Sport in the body". Isn't that a good thing?
"Sport under the feet". Dito
"Sore leg and week". I've also had a sore week dude.
"Lazy body". Yep, I have that too.
"Little beat eating". What?
"Headache side by side". With what?
"Anus liking pus". Bwahahahahahahaha!
"Buttocks rash". Okay, there isn't really anything wrong with that, it just sounds funny.
And here are some strange names I've seen (maybe South Africans will appreciate these more):
Pleaseman (yes, it's a real name)